The Tragedy of Mall Music
PLEASE MAKE IT BETTER
My expectation of the music I’ll hear in the mall is low.
Very low. NO, extremely low. You get the picture.
In fact, in the many places I expect to encounter music in the world (yes, the world as a whole), mall music quality is somewhere south of elevator (Muzak) music.
The sounds my dryer makes at the end of a cycle are more interesting than mall music.
Programmed music has a checkered past as scenes in movies depict when a chase scene leads into an elevator and the characters stand there motionless, while going to another floor and the music is……. well, you know. Boring.
Some movies treat this kind of scene more creatively than others, but programming music for an overhead sound system and moving the needle up on the interesting or even “music discovery” scale is apparently not what most malls want, and it’s a crying shame.
They will tell you they’re locked into a contractual agreement with blah, blah, blah, and while that may be true —
Clue phone: It’s NOT what anyone wants to hear anymore.
At my local mall, I power-walk for an hour or two every morning from 8 to 9:30 or 10 a.m. Someone (!) decided that there would only ever be older people there to walk then (Ageism), and decided to program some “music” (not original versions) of 1950s and 1960s music during that time frame.
I asked one of the cleaning staff who works there about it, and they shared that it’s been the same for the past TWO YEARS.
I’d need therapy. OMG.
A “re-recorded version of this was playing overhead this morning - one of a thousand bad examples. More therapy. Just why? Every frickin’ day? C’mon.
The indoor Starbucks staff has started blasting their own mix (mostly smooth jazz) in protest. The employees will probably be fired. But I hope not, as I agree with their choice, not the mall’s.
But seriously, this is avoidable in 2025 (or is it?) - despite a recent video by a well-known music reviewer saying we’re now in “the age of stupid music”.
Research suggests that people are more likely to shop in places where they enjoy the music. Malls will often consider their target audience when selecting music.
The target audience, meaning the office staff, or the shoppers? Or the walkers? Or whom exactly?
My research (lol) says this is more like a locked box (2 years+) of programmed hell that was decided by someone who most likely isn’t even working at the mall anymore. The majority (99%) of people I see at the mall walking have buds or earphones on and are simply tuning the poorly chosen, never-changing music out with modern noise reduction algorithms.
It turns out the perfect mall walking experience is all about the Beats Per Minute of the music played.
For a walking playlist at the mall, a mix of upbeat and calming songs, around 76-108 BPM for relaxed walking and 120-168 BPM for brisk walking, can be ideal. A few examples of popular mall/retail store music include "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton, "Breathless" by The Coors, and "Love Fool" by The Cardigans. Other options include "Girl on Fire" by Alicia Keys, "Walking on Broken Glass" by Annie Lennox, and "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne.
Although those are somewhat dated music selection too, they’re a lot more recent and recognizable by a wider range of walkers (listeners) than the 1950s selections.
I’ll post a few new mixes that fit the bill using my artistry and selection process. But in the meantime, here’s a longer mix I did a while back: Just ignore that F the Pain track towards the start. (geez)